My 6 Prime Values for Achieving Ample Growth
Some 75% of adults are experiencing moderate to high levels of stress. Is it because of their messy private lives, their humongous workload or is there a third factor involved? Are we stressed because we don’t know to handle specific situations or because we aren’t sure about what we value and respect?
Or could it be that we perceive stress wrongly? Who the fuck knows?! Not me.
I’m only guessing here: It seems that life comes down to values and anti-values.
- Values are beliefs about the world and what’s important in life.
- Anti-values are factors that are the complete opposite of values.
Don’t Know Who You Are?
…then you likely didn’t set your values straight, or you’re suffering from some type of dementia, so better double-check that value-inventory in your closet. Hold my beer while I help you out with that.
As a general rule ― in the words of one of my favorite productivity masters, Mark Manson ― You need controllable, not uncontrollable values. You need values that you control and ditch those that control you. We good?
If you overlook your khm-khm controllable values, odds are you are pretty anxious, all the time. Before you do anything, try to find a job, get married (or not), buy an apartment, or perform any task of real-life consequence, you should first get your values (and anti-values) straight.
Here’s a list of my prime values to get you in the right mood to decide on which ones you hold dear (or to just stop reading the article since it looks too long):
Authenticity
To be whoever I want to be as long as I’m myself. In the short run, this will create more problems than benefits. It’s the long run you ought to be enthusiastic about.
Enlightenment
To constantly seek to further my understanding of the world, wherever it may lead me, even if it dramatically changes all my current worldviews.
Freedom
To do what I want to do, on my own terms, with the minimum amount of influence from others. I still want to be influenced by people I respect and love but not let them take hold of my own decisions.
Simplicity
To control both my analog and digital lives, ranging from what I wear and eat, to what I download and subscribe to. Having a tidy work desk, a clean desktop, and no cats in the house are up there. (I don’t get people who like cats, although I got to know both of them.)
Perseverance
To have a strong sense that I can achieve success despite hardships or delays of any kind; to have a sense of control over what I do and how I do it. Mostly related to work.
Responsibility
To know that I am the only one in charge of my actions and that luck and odds play only a tiny role. That is, that solely my responsibility can lead me to either fail or succeed in all matters of life.
As some Einstein-level guy once put it: The only certain thing in life is uncertainty. But you can tweak that by basing all your actions on your values. Okay: You can try. If you do it, you’ll leave minimum space for something to go wrong or the way you didn’t plan it to go.
Your prime values can even be useful in dealing with psychopaths and avoiding excuses (perhaps not in that order and not if you’re one of them).
Falling Short
Can you live with that? Do you think that endless planning will help you beat the odds and make every single situation certain or at least a reasonably high number of events predictable? Even if you follow your prime values to the letter.
I see persistence as one of the most essential ingredients for success. Actually, one of my most important sub-values is Reasonable Perseverance (note the reasonable part).
I can literally work on any task for hours on end if I set my mind to it, as long as it’s reasonable according to my standards. I won’t push myself too hard and just end up hating my life for forcing it.
Occasionally, I may feel uncomfortable in my chair or my standing posture. Yet, I will still work through it to reach the end line. This may sound insane and exaggerated to some people but I always find the fine line between too much work and the right amount of reasonable work.
SPOILER ALERT: I don’t always get it right, and neither will you. “Trust Stefan, he knows his shit,” said nobody ever in the 250,000-year-old history of humankind.
Be Insistent or Perish
“Don’t you get distracted by your phone?”, some well-intentioned chap might ask me. No, I don’t, I deleted all social media apps and used my smartphone intentionally, not mindlessly. I don’t pick it up every time I feel like it. This is part of another sub-value of mine: Stringent Efficiency.
Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself: “Teach me, master, and I shall sell my soul to you for all eternity.” Okay, those might not be your exact words or not your words at all.
When I do something, I like to do it efficiently, without delays or unnecessary setbacks. According to a study I read somewhere on the Internet, a distracted person needs approximately 20 minutes to get back in the zone of doing the original task (after being distracted). Nobody can afford that time.
When I’m writing a new blog or doing translation for a client, I don’t care about any distractions (but own them by relentlessly watching Netflix).
OK, I occasionally get absentminded when I see my 2-month-old newborn doing his thing: I can’t ignore his adorable little face, his beaming blue eyes, father-like ears, and flat nose. I give into this distraction. Sue me and I’ll see you at the Productivity and Self-Help Court.
But to be able to do any of this, you first need to boost your positive intents. Both toward yourself and others. People will thank you for it (okay, they most certainly will not).
Final Thoughts on Prime Values
In conclusion, if you look at the advice I’ve laid out for you in this short article, you will definitely count as a person who has read the whole article: I’ll give you that. But that isn’t near enough.
If you truly wish to up your growth, you will need to listen to my grandmum’s advice, who once told me: “Stefan, if you want to be successful and lead a truly fulfilling life…” (then she fell asleep).
- From Executive to Freelancer In No Time
It turns out that keeping your sanity is more important than keeping your job. - Excuses Are Effectively Ruining Your Life: Here’s HowIt’s not you. It’s your animal instinct to avoid doing difficult things that’s quietly demolishing your life.
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