Live Comfortably with the Pro-Discomfort Technique
The other day I woke up tired after more than 8 hours of sound sleep. It didn’t make much sense. Wasn’t crossing the eight-hour-threshold enough for me to feel refreshed and energetic, with zero discomfort in my mind?
Apparently not.
But that wasn’t what struck me so horribly that ill-famed morning. It was the fact that―for the first time in many years―I had trouble reading. I wanted to put it off so badly. Couldn’t it wait, oh please, please, sir, Mr. Brain?!
A Totally (Un)explainable Discomfort
Of course, it could not wait. I had established a reading fixation years prior and didn’t want to go back on my word. Reneging wouldn’t mean I was a total failure, but it wasn’t far from the truth either.
See, I am extremely adamant about my choices. If I choose A, then B is out of the question. If C is my choice, then fuck that D, man.
Well, why the heck are you telling me all this, Stefan? ― a well-meaning reader might ask. For several reasons, mi compadre.
It felt so uncomfortable to pick up that book and just read for a few minutes. There was no friction between me and the book. It was at my fingertips, resting on the shelf a few centimeters from my chair, where I usually read. No friction. Zero. Nada. Nichts. Ничего.
It was like some invisible force dragging me away from my reading habit. As it turns out, there was some hidden power pulling me aside, except it wasn’t Satan or some other shady guy. Or that’s what I thought. But you can’t trust an atheist now, can you?
The Invisible Force
As Mark Manson argues in his remarkable book, Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope, we have a Consciousness Car in our minds. Two passengers reside therein: the Thinking Brain and the Feeling Brain.
We usually believe that it is the Thinking Brain that’s guiding our actions and intentions, or steering the wheel.
Newsflash: It’s not.
On that notorious morning, when I barely forced myself to continue my reading habit, it was my Feeling Brain telling me to postpone it. You know, Stefan, sometimes you just got to cut yourself some slack and eat that cannoli layer cake with a cinnamon sponge and mascarpone filling, my Feeling Brain was elegantly suggesting.
Let’s binge-watch that new Netflix series Perdida ― it continued offering enchanting proposals. How can you say no to that? Well, it’s arduous.
It takes virtually no effort to watch an enticing series for hours on end, but it necessitates some brain straining to read a few pages. Your mind must be actively engaged, retain information and the likes.
So, did I give in? Hell no. I just sat there, in my chair. My phone on the other side of the room and the remote control safely tucked away in a drawer. What’s it going to be? Reading, or reaching for that remote or the phone? That’s when it became glaringly self-evident.
Handling the Feeling Brain Mutherfucker
What’s easier for my Feeling Brain? Since I was sitting in my seat and with a book within my grasp, that was the more convenient option. And that’s what I chose.
Would I have responded differently if my phone and the remote were nearby? Likely. Creating friction in my life has been so vital that I make an unusual desk arrangement every night to make it harder for me to work during the evenings. Most days, it works like a charm.
Sifting through the initial discomfort was a life-changer. If I had just reacted on impulse, I would have gotten up and grabbed the first thing, i.e., phone or remote control.
Discomfort is just a feeling, and it’s trainable. Don’t stifle it, but work with it. Neuroscientists say that no feeling lasts for longer than a few moments or seconds at a time. No emotion can sustain itself for hours or days on end.
So, how do you train your discomfort and wade through it? I’m glad you asked.
Here are two exercises from productivity and lifestyle guru Timothy Ferris. By implementing these actions daily, you will train your Feeling Brain to work through the sensations of discomfort.
Discomfort Exercise #1
Approach the opposite sex and ask for their phone number. Do this at least twice a day. Just come up to the person in question and say something like this:
Excuse me. I know this will sound strange, but if I don’t ask you now, I’ll be kicking myself for the rest of the day. I’m running to meet a friend, but I think you are really cute. Could I have your phone number? I’m not a psycho―I promise. You could give me a fake one if you’re not interested.
That’s an excerpt from The 4-Hour Work Week, the groundbreaking book by Tim Ferris I recommend.
Discomfort Exercise #2
Always offer a solution to the problem people present. When somebody asks you―Where should we eat tonight?―say something like: I think this restaurant downtown is excellent.
Don’t intensify the problem but provide a solution instead.
That doesn’t mean you are insensitive to other people’s emotions. On the contrary, you are sparing everyone the unnecessary hassle of skimming through Google Maps and engaging in hour-long discussions that are intensely unproductive.
Stop the back and forth and make a decision. It’s called being an adult.
Pro-Discomfort Technique To The Rescue
If you haven’t guessed by now, the Pro-Discomfort Technique doesn’t entail removing discomfort from your life but training it daily. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations and resolve to give them your full attention.
Whether it’s in the gym or while working on a cognitively demanding task. Whether you are having a difficult conversation with a coworker or are powering through some taxing personal issue.
As soon as you enforce the Pro-Discomfort Technique, you turn into a pro in dealing with emotions.
The Pro-Discomfort Technique is there for you all the time. It enables you to train your Feeling Brain, not tame it. And if you were wondering, that’s exactly what you should be doing. THE END.
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