Guilt-Free Lying May Be Good

We all lie, some seldom, while others are goddamn pathological liars. Lying is a part of our routine.

We deceive others to get by, not hurt people’s feelings, and present ourselves as undisputable moral authorities.

And who can blame us? Well, not us, that’s for sure.

From time to time, some pause to ponder on how we feel about our last lie. Was it justified? Did the benefits of telling it exceed the consequences it produced?

Take Pete as your regular human guinea pig. He is a 30-and-something-year-old and the epitome of a trustworthy person. He has a wife, kids, and colleagues to who he rarely lies carelessly. Or so he convinced himself.

According to a relatively new study, 13% of people think of themselves as pathological liars or say that others consider them pathological liars.

As reassuring as that sounds to the rest of us, including tenderhearted Pete, nobody should absolve us for all the tiny little lies we succumb to daily. Okay, I’ll stop judging you here. Or maybe not.

Feel Your Lies

As much as outrageous lying isn’t something to be ecstatic about, we still fall prey to it due to its alluring gains. Enters Pete. It feels so much better to tell our colleagues about nailing that business deal rather than not, and speaking about personal achievement, although none exists. 

Pete enjoys bragging in front of the different sex about his outstanding in-bed performance, even though he’s merely fooling himself. Sorry about that, mate.

Lying feels terrific, and we humans are suckers for feeling stuff.

If you think you’re the incarnation of rational thought and behavior, ask your amygdala. It’s a part of your brain involved in fears and the emotional response to pain. It turns out, we tend to avoid distress all the time, and lying is part of this escape, as our hypothetical buddy Pete tells me.

On average, about 95% of people tell at least one lie per day, while others discharge a lot more than that, leading us to label them as either habitual, compulsive, or chronic liars.

For your convenience, some professors described pathological lying as a persistent, pervasive, and often compulsive pattern of excessive lying behavior that leads to clinically significant impairment of functioning in social, occupational, or other areas; causes marked distress; poses a risk to the self or others; and occurs for longer than six months.

To put it bluntly, it fucks up your entire life forever.

I can name at least two selves in my life who fall in the uppermost category of pathological liars.

All I can tell you is they were deceitful about everything they got their hands on: the numerous girlfriends and trips abroad, their parents and grandparents being dead. I can’t even recall a single instance of them saying something truthful, which sounds intimidating. 

Hang on: I remember that one time they didn’t lie about the weather we could all see with our naked eyes. Nope, my bad.

Never Stop

The thought of so many of us lying every day should comfort you nonetheless ― for the sheer fact that we all do it. If you are dishonest about stuff that is reliably non-consequential in real life, then what are you worried about? Keep at it, pal.

Your wife, husband, child, or colleague won’t mind if you lie to spare them some inhumane suffering or throw them a surprise party.

As long as you emulate Pete, you’re managing just fine. 

Trust him, if you will, he rarely lies.

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